In the past year, I’ve had the privilege of interacting with some of the best online communicators and personal development bloggers out there.
What impressed me the most about them is this: not only do they share wisdom about career, success, life, and people skills, but they do so in a high-impact communication style, built around their unique personalities.
Therefore, I’ve asked 10 awesome online communicators I know to provide some insights into both online and offline communication, by answering one fundamental question:
What is one key lesson about effective communication that you’ve learned?
The following are their answers.
Mars Dorian
Blog: Mars Dorian; Follow Mars on Twitter
The most important thing that I have learned is to appeal to people’s self-interest. This doesn’t sound very romantic, but it rocks beyond belief. Walking in the shoes of the person I’m communicating with is super-helpful. I always ask myself: Why should they care? What’s in it for them?
And whenever I follow this principle, I enjoy a conversation that is both high quality and valuable. Find a common ground which rocks for both of you. If you do, you are in for a treat!
Dragos Roua
Blog: Dragos Roua; Follow Dragos on Twitter
Listening is the key, if you want to communicate effectively. Listening to what your partner is saying, not to what you’re hearing. Many of the messages we get are unconsciously filtered by our own life experiences. Take a step back, look at yourself from a distance and you’ll have a better understanding of the conversation.
Listen to yourself also. Maybe you want to say something but your brains are just cheating on you. Stay there, be in the moment and pay attention to what you are saying. Truth is, a big part of our conversation “noise” is self-generated. So, the more you clean up your own lenses, the clearer the conversation you’ll generate will be.
Dirk De Bruin (Diggy)
Blog: Upgrade Reality; Follow Diggy on Twitter
I feel that effective communication is about simplicity and specific instructions or details. The less words you need to use and the less complicated those words are to bring your point across, the easier other people will understand. If something is easy to comprehend, people will pay attention and are more likely to engage with you or become your follower.
Also, the more specific you are, the better it is. Vagueness brings about confusion which is bad for effective communication (although it can be good for marketing purposes).
Steven Aitchison
Blog: Change Your Thoughts; Follow Steve on Twitter
The one key lesson I have learned about communicating online is to write how you speak.
Readers want to read writing that is genuine, and comes from the heart. They don’t mind the informal tone, a few missing commas, a few swear words here and there, as long as it comes from the heart.
We live in a world where everything has to be perfect for it to be any good, but when readers come across writing that is from the heart, passionate, and helpful it is like talking with a real person.
The art of being human is being lost to the art of being perfect. I am not perfect; my readers know this, so why pretend to be perfect. When I come across writing that is genuine, is from the heart and downright honest, I subscribe immediately. We want to read about writers who are doing extraordinary things, and we want to know that we can be extraordinary too – genuine communication can achieve this.
Annabel Candy
Blog: Get In The Hot Spot; Follow Annabel on Twitter
I used to teach English as a foreign language. Often I’d teach students from different countries with no language in common. It’s amazing how much you can communicate with people using only facial expressions, images and gestures. But when we communicate online, usually conversational clues like facial expressions, gestures and tone of voice have been removed so we need to make sure our writing and meaning is very clear.
Use simple language online and short sentences to get important information over fast. Good communication is about being clear and leaving no room for misunderstanding. Don’t expect your readers to be mind readers. If you want them to take certain actions like leaving a comment, telling a friend about your blog or giving you a call to make an appointment you need to remind them to do so using short, clear and simple language. Your readers will love you for it and by making your message easier to understand you make it easier for people to share too.
Jonny Gibaud
Blog: The Life Thing; Follow Jonny on Twitter
We were given two ears and one mouth, this was not a mistake. Good communication is about actively listening twice as much as you talk.
Matthew Needham
Blog: The Big Red Tomato Company; Follow Matthew on Twitter
To my mind creating high impact communication is all about consistency. Not only in verbal communications, but also in images, videos etc. For example, it is no good promoting yourself as a clean living health guru, when your Facebook page and YouTube videos would suggest otherwise.
Too many people and organizations say one thing, but do another. Take Enron. Enron had the values of communication, respect, integrity and excellence which were posted on its website and its corporate corridors, but history shows us, no one believed them because no one followed them. If your readers or employees don’t see a consistent message, then you won’t get the results you’re expecting.
Srinivas Rao
Blog: The Skool of Life; Follow Srini on Twitter
The Power of Effective Listening: One of the biggest criticisms I received in the early days of interviewing people was that I didn’t listen. I would interrupt the guests on my podcast. I’d be eager to talk about my own ideas. I even got a comment from somebody once that said “god…you’re eager to talk about yourself.” In my own insecurity I trashed the comment. Fortunately I also took it to heart because I did want to improve.
Today BlogcastFM interviews have turned out to be valuable resource for bloggers and people say that I tend to get a ton of information about people in a really short amount of time. That all comes down to listening. If you just shut up and listen, people will tell you everything you want to know. In the 48 Laws of Power, Robert Greene said that the person who is saying the least is a much more powerful communicator. So shut up for a while, and you’ll be amazed at what happens. (I know, ironic coming from one of the chattiest personalities in the blogosphere).
Farnoosh Brock
Blog: Prolific Living; Follow Farnoosh on Twitter
It’s not easy to pinpoint a single lesson on effective communication when so much goes into mastering this skill. Nonetheless, if I had to pick, the key lesson I have learned is to know and understand your audience, small or large, single person or a crowded room. You need to shape your message, your tone of voice, your delivery and your style to the particulars of that audience for the most effective results.
Learn about the needs and desires of your audience. Understand what is important to them. Listen carefully to them. Watch for cues and gestures and expressions they send. Then adjust your communication style to the sum of these attributes and you will be surprised by how well-received you shall be.
Arvind Devalia
Blog: Make It Happen; Follow Arvind on Twitter
The key lesson about effective communication that I have learned is to be authentic and to come from the heart.
People really get it when I am being totally present, honest and vulnerable and when I am willing to show them my human side. At the end of the day, they want to know that I am also just another human being like them with my own challenges, shortcomings and quirks, rather than some high-achieving superman. This of course applies to both my online writing and in my face to face interactions.
To summarize, there is no secret really to effective communication – just be yourself, be authentic and be willing to be vulnerable.
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So there you have it folks: 10 lessons about clarity, simplicity, priority, consistency and authenticity as ways towards effective communication. If you want to find out more from these fine bloggers, I encourage you to follow them on Twitter and to check out their blogs.
Image courtesy of joshfassbind