I have a question for you: how often do you find yourself in a situation where: 1) you know you should change, 2) you even want to change, and yet 3) you don’t change?
If you’re like the majority of us, I’m going to guess that your answer is: “Quite often, damn it!” Join the group, take a seat and pay attention, because the solution to your predicament is close, very close.
It’s Not about Want or Willpower
The standard view in our society is that if a person truly wants to change and to get somewhere, they won’t just try, they’ll make it happen. And if they don’t change in a reeeeally long period of time, then they either don’t want it badly enough or they lack willpower.
Like Yoda says: “Do or not do. There is no try”. Right?
Well, NO. It turns out that the little fella is full of bullshit.
Not changing in the direction you chose is not a problem of want or willpower. You are not lazy, stupid or unmotivated for finding it quite hard to quit smoking, lose that extra weight, spend less time online or change your communication style.
You’re only human, and there is no need to feel guilty. It turns out that the habitual behaviors of human beings are very much influenced by personal, social and situational factors. Thus, the real key to change is not to try harder, it is to improve your change strategy.
How to Actually Change
This being said, I invite you to watch the 53 min. video below for a powerful lesson on the topic. It’s a recent Google Talk where Joseph Grenny shares the real science of changing habits. I came across it yesterday and I found it mind-blowingly smart.
Seriously, this talk could be one of the best pieces of personal development information you’ll ever get. So if you skip it, I’ll personally kick your ass.
Image courtesy of Krikit
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Breaking habits (and maintaining the change) is ridiculously hard. Thanks for sharing this video. I’m definitely about to watch it so you won’t kick my ass. LOL
Hey Nea,
Well, I hoped you enjoyed it and found it very useful. I sure did.
The foto is excellent related to the article. Congratulations!
Ha, thanks 😉
I love the Yoda quote. It is so very true.
I have experienced changes that happen in an instant. Results may vary as in the length of time like losing weight or saving money.
Moat of the time it is limiting beliefs that get in the way of our change.
Lol! Justin, I think you skipped the article and went straight to the quote.
So to change your bad habits you need to understand why they became a habit. After you find that out you work on improving those flaws that cause your habit correct? Like your influences and your environment. just basically getting to know yourself and the decisions you make on a higher level.
Thank you for sharing the video! I’m buffering it right now so I won’t get kicked. I do think agree that its not just about willpower and want, sometimes how your friends encourage how you should change does not work for you and vice versa. I do think though that it is crucial to first be aware of what are the changes that you should actually focus on, before jumping into the generic decision of “i will change!”. Being able to pinpoint exactly what it is you plan to change and how you change is probably one of the keys for me, however I’ll know if that’s true for many when I watch the video.
Good girl 🙂
Thanks for dropping by.
lolz, i always remember to watch this video everyday, cuz i often forget some of the really useful information he gives out. Thanks for posting this video up 🙂