I’ll tell you one thing many people seriously consider after working with me in a communication coaching program: quitting their job. I usually couldn’t be happier about this, as I believe that quitting a job is a natural part of career progress, which we often postpone unnecessarily.
Most people tend to find quitting a job as a delicate subject. They see all sorts of risks involved and they wanna do it right.
I think it’s a challenge to give generally applicable advice for quitting a job, as the context can vary a lot: some people quite a job because they absolutely hate it and they run like the wind, other people quit a job even though they love it, because an even better opportunity arisen.
However, I can think of 3 people skills principles which apply in most cases when quitting a job. They focus not only on doing it right, but on doing it with style. Here they are:
1. Don’t say you’re quitting your job at first
Many people are quitting their job for only slightly improved conditions, such as a slightly bigger salary or slightly more important responsibilities.
Often, if your employer knows about these extra benefits you want to leave for and values you as an employee, they will make you a counter-offer which you might want to consider. I have many examples of this happening and the employee deciding to stay after all, with improved working conditions.
This is why I believe in these cases, it’s best to not tell your employer directly that you’re leaving. Instead, tell him at first that you’re considering leaving and mention the extra benefits which are motivating you to do this.
Then, mention that you would like to stay with them if they make you a good counter-offer. Only if they do not, you can decide and announce firmly that you’re quitting your job.
2. Phrase it in the positive
One manifestation of good people skills I find highly valuable is talking about improvements rather than about solving problems. This technique works especially well when announcing that you’re quitting a job.
Preferably, don’t say: “I don’t like this job and I want to get the hell out of here”. Instead, say “I’m interested in a job which is closer to my passion and I think I have the best chances of finding one somewhere else”.
The main point is to talk about the improvements you aim to achieve through another job, rather than the problems you aim to get away from. This gets the best possible reactions from others and allows you to leave an employer without senselessly breaking the relationship.
3. Throw a farewell party
I bet you didn’t expect this one, did you?
Many times, people will quit a job although they get along well with most of their colleagues. Their reasons for quitting have to do with something else. So it makes sense to say goodbye to your colleagues in a fun, memorable way which communicates how much you appreciate them.
I call this a P-A-R-T-Y! You don’t have to through a big party and invite all the company. A small office, house, pub or club party with your dearest colleagues will do.
By the way: when I see ‘colleagues’ I’m including here your manager, clients, and collaborators – anyone you respect and have worked well with. Believe it or not, a farewell party when quitting a job can be a very good business networking and relationship building tool.
I believe it does make sense to try ending a work relationship on a positive note and good people skills will help you achieve this. At the same time, I think the best mental frame to have is that quitting a job is not a big deal.
With this mind frame, you can make quitting a job a simple, constructive and even enjoyable experience. Who knows, you might even make a hobby out of it…
Image courtesy of Stuck in Customs
[adrotate group=”5″]
Hi Eduard,
I like the farewell party idea. As you note it makes sense in the relationships department. It never helps to burn bridges because we live in a small world.
Thanks for sharing your insight and have a great day.
Ryan
Yeah, it’s a killer idea from my perspective – also, get everybody drunk at the party and listen to them telling you how jealous they are cause you’re leaving the company 😉
Eduard: This is one of those topics for me that I seriously relate to.
The notice period is a very delicate time. People are watch you closely to see if you mentally check out early. People are watching your peers to see if they are frantic about you leaving. And people are watching the overall vibe of the office to get an idea if people are shaken up, or if people don’t care.
There’s a great evaluation during this period, where if you succeed, you can set yourself up with allies that will be on your side forever. If you fail, you simply miss the opportunity to build your network contacts.
I’ve been through this song and dance a few times. Fortunately it’s been because I’ve been presented with a much better opportunity elsewhere. When you create the perception of value, then it makes the departure that much harder for the organization.
Thanks for the great article.
Peace.
“People are watching the overall vibe of the office to get an idea if people are shaken up, or if people don’t care.”
That’s an interesting observation. A resignation and how the other people in the organization react to it is a good test of the organizational climate.
Hi Eduard.
That message about not saying you are quitting at first relates to many other categories where we should do similar. As you said, when you say you are leaving before trying to leverage your position, you miss out on any opportunities you would have had. This is similar to selling a product and putting out a price before the other person shows how much they are interested in the product, or hitting on someone in a direct way that doesn’t leave them any room to match up with you. Communication that is too direct removes bits of opportunity here and there.
Smart as always Armen,
It’s not only that you don’t want to say you’re leaving at first; it may also be best to not decide to leave before your negotiate a little. I think it’s best to really test the water you’re in before deciding to quit a job.
Hi Eduard! These are great tips. I quit my job or 12 years about 18 mos. ago. I was grateful for the years I worked there and did have an office party like you said. I knew I wanted to work in something more in alignment with my passions. I mainly concentrate on what my passion was and the kind of position that reflected that. As I kept a positive attitude, the most perfect job showed up totally in alignment with my interests in life. Being grateful for the job you had and being positive for what the future holds seemed to have served me well.
Thanks for sharing some great ideas! Loving blessings!
I bet the office party was a lot of fun. I love those parties! Would be willing to quit my job (if I wasn’t self employed) just for those 🙂
Or you can burn the building down and not say anything about it…oh right that is not “socially acceptable.”
Just kidding, good list Eduard. Hope to be reading more from you soon!
No, it’s OK 😉
I know one guy who one day, just didn’t go to work anymore. His employers couldn’t find him or reach him for 3 months.
These are great ideas for making sure you leave good memories behind. When you approach leaving a job in the right way, you’re more likely to have excellent referrals for new jobs.
Good point Nea. I forgot to mention potential referrals. They are a part of the equation not to be ignored.