One of the most popular questions among guys is: How to impress a girl?” The desire for men to be successful with the opposite sex is undeniable. Frequently, it is much stronger than the desire to make money, advance their career or live a healthy life.
Considering this, I want to give you my perspective as a communication coach and as a guy on how to impress a girl. I don’t think this inquiry has a simple and straightforward response, but there are some key points that you want to take in and focus on primarily.
If you’re expecting ideas for romantic gifts or cute compliments to impress a girl, this is not it. First of all, because I believe such methods are short-lived, and secondly because any other guy out there who’s not retarded can easily do the exact same things.
I’m going to take a broader and deeper approach on the topic of how to impress a girl. So, buckle up.
How to Impress a Girl Is the Wrong Question
In my perspective, if you’re wondering how to impress a girl, you’ve gone astray. A much better question to ask is the subtly different question “how to impress girls?” I firmly believe the best way to impress a girl is to develop an attractive personality and communication style that girls react to in general.
If you’re focusing just on finding ways to astonish one particular girl, this will probably get you to start obsessing about her, to act desperate and needy around her, and to become a chameleon in order to create a positive impression on her. Of course initially, it may just seem like you’re being nice.
On the other hand, if you learn to impress girls in general, this creates a shift in your attitude. You have more options, become more self-assured and interestingly enough, this is what has the best chances of wooing that particular girl you like.
Dress for Seduction Success
Yes, you look does matter. However, notice I said your “look”, not your “looks”. Your look goes beyond your body and face constitution (your looks). It entails the way you project yourself visually, through clothing and accessories.
While you can only change your looks to some extent, your look is completely under your control. And creating an appealing look for yourself, although it’s not a necessity, will definitely help you a lot in impressing girls.
Here are the main things I believe you want to know and apply in terms of personal fashion:
- How to choose high quality clothes (not the same as expensive), that fit you really well;
- How to match clothes in terms of colors, fabric and style and how to add the proper accessories;
- How to express your personality and stand out in a seductive way, using the way you dress.
Lead
One of the most attractive male traits is leading. This trait is the raw manifestation of masculine confidence and power. In the process of learning how to impress a girl or more, this is a chapter you simply cannot skip.
Now, leading in this context doesn’t mean being the CEO of an international corporation or the president of the United States (although I’m positive that would be of assistance). It means the strong inclination to lead in the interactions with a girl.
Leading is a behavior, not a status. Leading in interactions with a girl involves making decisions quickly, taking the initiative and being firm but gentle. It means saying “Let’s go out for drinks this weekend” instead of “Amm… would you like to… I don’t know… go out sometimes, or something?”
Know Psychology
Myself and many of my close male friends have a huge passion for psychology. So I can’t pass on the opportunity to talk about knowing psychology, because I’ve seen this trait at work numerous times and I think it’s an incredible trait to have as a guy.
Girls simply adore applied psychology. They are fascinated by this topic. Whenever you give a girl the opportunity to learn something interesting about human psychology, to understand herself or others better, she’ll be blown way.
I really encourage you to make the next book you read a book on human psychology; something that’s very practical and preferably not too scholastic. Especially if you’re a guy who spends most of his time reading about Java programming or nuclear physics, this can change your conversations with girls significantly.
There are many other ways to impress a girl. I just pointed out the ones I believe create the foundation of a naturally attractive and impressive guy.
In the end, effectively learning how to impress girls is not done by accumulating tips, tricks, lines and gimmicks to use. It is done by developing your people skills, your confidence and your personality in a seductive direction.
Image courtesy of sebastien.b
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Ha ha ha… I wish I read this post many-many years back when I was unmarried 😉
Despite all the tips and tricks on this topic, I’d love to hear from you why girls (mostly) get impressed with the bad guys and good guys suffer miserably. You know what I mean? 🙂
@ Nishant: You gotta consider that a lot of girls suffer from poor self esteem, or a distorted personal image, which attracts them to the type of guy who shares their opinion of themselves. I’m a 24 year old woman and it took me years to realize this…that the differences in my boyfriends reflect the changes in my dating confidence, or in general, maturation. In short, ‘good’ guys are just going to stick it out and wait for the girls who feel good enough about themselves to recognize the benefits of dating a good guy 🙂
What’s a good guy? 🙂
A ‘good guy’ is the one who risks some time in the ‘friend zone’ before trying to become your lover
Right on Camilla!!! Too many guys think that the door is open for them to approach as a lover, without ever being my friend?
And, I’d just like to say that from experience an important attribute that really divides men is the art of listening. There are so many guys who are out to ‘impress’ the lady by rattling off facts about themselves but fail to actually listen when the woman speaks. And I dont just mean hear what the other person is saying, but actually actively listening, taking a beat to digest the information, and then responding to the new information versus reciting things you normally say in those types of dating situations. Basically, learn the art of conversation – a big way to a woman’s heart is through her ears!
Hey Camilla,
I definitely think good listening matters, but I don’t see it as a complete formula to seducing women in itself. I’ve met so many guys who are good listeners and they just end up in the friend zone…
You can only attract someone who is at the same level that you are or believe that you are.
Most people believe that attraction is based on physical but it is actually done through you own physical energy or spirit.
When I was single I could literally have girls come up to me just by sitting in a chair and sending out a vibrational signal.
This works best in a bar when people are less inhibited but it can work in other places as well.
Energy; interesting angle.
I absolutely love the concept of having girls come up to you, but I wouldn’t recommend guys to just site there and try to attract girls to them with vibes. Take the lead, go after what you want.
Eduard,
I have used both approaches to get girls but the main point here is that girls will be attracted to you according to your vibe or energy.
If you have a creepy vibe only creepy girls will be attracted to you.
Girls like people that are similar to them or people that they want to be like.
I wasn’t advocating that people sit on their duff and not take action.
The vibe approach is just another alternative.
Thanks…..
Could you recommend some good psychology books that are practical?
These days, I often find myself talking about concepts from Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman, and Influence by Robert Cialdini.
Also, any book that profiles people based on the colors they like, their body-language, their pets and so on, works well.
Hmm..I don’t know if this is exactly what you were looking for but one of the best ‘psychology books’ that I’ve encountered is Robert Greene’s ’48 Laws of Power.’ One of my favorite history books ever.
He also wrote a similar book ‘The Art of Seduction’ though I haven’t had a chance to read that.
Hello!
I really think that one key ingredient (not the only one, but an essential one) is to have the courage (or the verticality) to confront her when you disagree. Dare to contradict her, to challenge her ideas and beliefs. This behaviour is a strong display of leading and personality. (Certainly, there is a lot to discuss about HOW you contradict, but that’s other topic already).
Oh, that is a cool one. A girl may not like it at first that you confront her, but she’ll end up respecting you for it.
This was the most dynamic sentence of the whole post: “If you’re focusing just on finding ways to astonish one particular girl, this will probably get you to start obsessing about her, to act desperate and needy around her, and to become a chameleon in order to create a positive impression on her.” …Wow…if the guys would read that, delve into that, focus on how to be the opposite of that, they would be a winner every time!!! You have to be the person you are wanting to attract and acting desperate only brings you desperate in return. And believe me, it is a big turnoff! Great post.
Thanks Misty, I really wanted to get the point in that sentence across. It seems I did.
Hello,
I found in article : “make the next book you read a book on human psychology; something that’s very practical and preferably not too scholastic”.
Can you give me some examples of books or articles?
Thanks.
Liviu, I have already replied to this question in a comment above. It’s a common question 😉
there is a girl n she is already in a relationship with my friend…bt i luv her a alot more than any body…and i purpose her but she say’s no to me n ne i need thal girl because now i can’t live without her so plz give me solution how i get her….