Recommending people conversation topics is tricky. Personally, tuning my people skills, I have learned to talk about anything and everything. I can do this now, not because I know a lot of stuff (which I don’t), but because I can relate with people on any subject.
Simultaneously, I am aware that particularly when you’re talking with a person you’ve just met it’s good to understand what the interesting conversation topics that go well with most people are. Thus, you can start a conversation on a common ground and build rapport fast.
With this in mind, I am giving you ten fine researched conversation topics I believe work fabulously in most conversations. So you can confidently pick from them in your social interactions and then adapt the conversation topics as you learn more about the other person.
Before I list these topics though, I want to add one thing: knowing the right topics doesn’t do much for you if you lack conversation confidence. Knowledge without attitude is useless. This is why I have created for you a free presentation in which I reveal the secrets to conversation confidence. Go here to watch it.
1. Human Psychology
We love the subject of human nature and nurture. We want to understand ourselves better and to understand others better. To some people, this is almost like having a superpower.
Talking about how we are, how our mind works, why we do what we do and anchoring this in real life is always interesting. Furthermore, if you know some fascinating psychological theories, you’re sure to woo anybody.
2. Traveling
Nowadays, traveling is highly accessible and it is the favorite pastime of many people. Almost every person out there with a decent income does some long distance traveling every year and has a lot of stories to tell.
For this reason, I find that it’s very easy to get other people talking about their traveling experiences and to relate with them. Plus, I have filled most of my traveling agenda based on recommendations from others. So I killed two birds with one stone.
3. Books
From what I can tell, almost everybody with a level of education above high-school reads books, at least once in a while. Sure, people may have different tastes in what they read, but the subject of books in itself is very big and juicy.
Also, keep in mind the alternative sources for reading material such as newspapers, magazines, journals, websites and the increasingly popular… blogs.
4. Movies
Books may have their limits as an interest, but I’m positive that everybody who doesn’t live in a monastery watches movies. In my perspective, this is one of the richest conversation topics out there.
The caveat is that a discussion about movies can quickly get boring, so you want to be careful and elegant with it. You most certainty don’t want to abuse this topic.
5. Women/ Men
I often say that men’s favorite conversation topic is women, and women’s favorite topic is men. You might as well exploit this. I have rarely seen two men connect as easy as when they are having a discussion about the ‘prey’ (and I’m not talking about wild deer).
Even if you’re talking with a person of the opposite sex, talking about either men or women (pick one at a time) can be very engaging. We generally love to get the perspective of the opposite sex on this subject.
6. Hobbies
There is a wide range of hobbies people may have, from polo, to yoga, to pottery. I frequently like to ask others about their hobbies. Even if we may not have a lot of hobbies in common, they present a good opportunity to get to know the other person and perhaps discover a new, exciting hobby for myself.
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Preferably, avoid talking with a workaholic about their hobbies, as they will politely (or not) explain you how they work 70 hours each week. Speaking of workaholics…
7. Career
There is a huge difference between a job and a career. A job is what you do at one point or another for money. A career is a journey of learning, adding value and receiving value that stretches over most of your lifetime.
You don’t want to narrowly focus a conversation on “What do you do for a living?” You want to also explore career plans, career challenges or the journey so far.
8. Bars, clubs, pubs and coffee shops
One of my favorite conversation questions is: “Where do you go out?” Some people prefer places where they can dance, some where they can eat and others where they can just hangout or use their people skills to socialize.
Nevertheless, most persons do like to go out of their cave and explore their immediate surroundings. Conversation topics involving their experiences in this area are definitely a good idea.
9. Food
There is this subtle attraction most of us humans have towards food: making it, seeing it, acquiring it and eating it. It’s not just a subject for housewives and chefs.
Subtle conversations on the art of cooking or the art of eating, sharing small details about the kinds of foods you like and how you eat them, these create a bond between people.
10. Events
If you live in a relatively big city (and chances are that you do), there’s a lot going on in it every day of the week: conferences, celebrations, marches, strikes, accidents, alien invasions and so on.
Such events create one of the best conversation topics for some quality small talk at the beginning of a conversation: they’re easy to bring into discussion, somewhat interesting and they’re happening somewhere near you.
These are ten conversation topics I use quite a lot and I find well suited for almost any conversation. They’re a good tool to engage people, make interactions enjoyable, build relationships and reveal your charismatic personality.
However, they are only the second layer in making conversation. Check out my instructional presentation on conversation confidence to learn how to put a solid foundation.
What are the conversation topics that work best for you?
Image courtesy of Bethan
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Eduard,
This a great and incredibly practical post! Often, I tend to start with asking people what they do for a career, but really this can be something people don’t want to talk about it if they don’t happen to like their job. So, I have started to ask people what they enjoy doing or what they would like to do for a career. I really like your suggestion about human psychology. My educational background is in psychology, and I find it utterly fascinating. I will have to incorporate some psychology topics in discussions and see where it leads.
Hey Joe,
Well then, we have something in common: my educational background is in psychology and I often make use of this in conversations. My philosophy is: always use all the tools you have and make the best of them.
Talking about the weather is actually a decent conversation topic as long as it leads to something else. Same with movies, unless it’s something one person has not seen yet. Same goes with dreams… NOONE wants to hear about your weird dream
Funny you mentioned dreams Henway, because I sometimes talk abut them or I interpret other people’s dreams just for fun. However, it’s typically not one of the proper conversation topics for the first minutes of conversation with someone you just met.
Weather? Why isn’t weather on your list? :))
LOL! I think just about the only people who can hold a conversation about weather for more than 30 sec. are meteorologists 🙂
and maybe because it’s usually the topic that comes right before the “just shut up and kiss me” 🙂 or when there is nothing better to say. Usually it’s really a bad topic and it won’t show you in a good light. Women expect men to be more creative than just “weather”. 🙂
My best friend and I can have a conversation about weather without being awkward. –That’s how you know you have a great friend. She’s willing to go to absurd and awkward places with you 🙂
Hello Eduard,
I love interpreting dreams too…………………..
My problem is that most of the people in my class is acting like a bunch of monkeys. They make these very wierd jokes and sounds, and have an extremely tasteless humor (Talking about things like poop and pee and whatnot). I’m 16, so at this age it isn’t exactly something that is normal among the majority. I would very much like to understand their humor, and this way be able to start and continue a conversation with them. I’m also living pretty far from everybody else, so it’s nothing I am familiar with (Went on a much closer school last year). I live in Norway, so the school/education system might seem a little unfamiliar, but I hope you at least understand the context (Is that the right word for it? :S)