Yes, the book is actually called “Asshole: How I Got Rich and Happy by Not Giving a @!?* About You”, and it’s written by Martin Kihn. I’ve listened to the audio version the past few days, and it quickly made the list of my favorite books.
You can find other valuable info and reviews for the book on Amazon, and you can listen to a free audio sample on LoDingo.
Just turning 40, Martin realizes that his life and his career are not what he dreamed of, and being too nice is the main cause for this. This is how he describes himself in the book:
If you asked me to do you a favor, even the kind of favor that required me to go so far out of my way I needed a map, a translator and an oxygen tank, even if I didn’t know you that well, I might hesitate a second, hoping you’d think of someone else to irritate, but I’d always say yes.
So in order to get what he wants, Martin decides to get rid of his people pleasing persona and turn himself into an asshole. The book is the entertaining and at the same time inspirational story of this real journey and its results, a journey which involves among other things, taking life coaching, acting classes and boxing lessons.
As a personal development passionate, what I liked most about “Asshole” is that it’s a real life experiment, conducted by a real person and then put into words. Some of the ideas Martin implemented you might find a bit too out-there and not want to try, but there are definitely a lot of people skills and personal development ideas you will want to put into practice if you find yourself being very nice, all the time. If you’re wondering: “What’s wrong with being very nice, all the time?” then you definitely need to get this book.
One such idea I found useful is interrupting people. I don’t think it’s a good thing to do this constantly and make it your way of communicating with others, but I do think every once in a while, it has its place in communication. Yet a lot of people I’ve worked with (me included) have or used to have problems in this area and simply could not interrupt people, even if they may have gotten interrupted all the time.
Besides the practical and inspirational side, “Asshole” is written in a very humorous way, using witty language and describing some out of the box experiences one would naturally encounter when deciding to become an asshole. I laughed through the entire audio-book. I recommend you buy the audio version of the book, as all the voice acting only enhances the humor and makes the book even more entertaining.
As for the lessons of the book: is being nice bad? Is becoming an asshole an actual way to improve your people skills? What did Martin decide after his experiment? Well, you’ll just have to go though the book, get the facts and reach your own conclusions.
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Sounds fascinating Eduard! I’m not planning to read this but just the fact of bringing it to my attention is quite timely because I’ve been taking a very similar stance in my life recently. Not to the extreme where some people may consider me and dickhead…but more sturdy in my approach to dealing with people and events.
Nice review!
.-= Amit Sodha – The Power Of Choice´s last blog ..The Best Kind Of Product Is One You Don’t Need To Sell =-.
I think becoming less nice is a healthy step for every person to take, at least for a while. Getting in touch with the more selfish part of our personality, as well as the very kind one, can be a great tool for personal development.
I definitely need to read this book, have been too nice lately, probably need to take that little bitchy side of me out:) You are right, Eduard, it is healthy than constantly supressing yourself trying to always be nice.
.-= Lana – DreamFollowers Blog´s last blog ..How To Get In The Flow or How To Connect With Your Inner Genius =-.
I’m not planning to read this either, but from the content of your post, this guy is basically saying to set healthy boundaries for yourself, although I think he’s going way too far and will experience negative repercussions for his behavior. Saying, “Yes,” when you have a good idea you are being taken advantage of is not a good idea. Tell the person, “No,” and if they repeatedly cross the line you have set, then it is time to really get angry with them! Saying, “Yes,” all the time is really a mask for insecurity, while people who are secure and balanced will say, “Yes,” most of the time, but will also draw a healthy line. Interesting book, but seems to go a little far in its approach from what I can tell.
Sounds like a great read but a turn off title. I guess he intention were well and i wish him much success but you don’t have to be an asshole to be successful.
.-= Jonathan Figaro´s last blog ..You Don’t Need Time To Yourself =-.
@Lana – you go girl! 🙂
@Dan – I believe the most important lesson in the book is to set healthy boundaries. This guy just became kamikaze at it. But for some people, going into asshole territory for a while, can be a positive personal development step. Because some people are waaay to nice.
@Jonathan – You don’t. But it’s a catchy title.
Eduard— Interesting premise for a book. Kinda like a Tucker Max for personal development. Anyway, I’ve added this to my Amazon list and will have to read it in the next few weeks. Thanks for the recommendation
.-= Steve Scott Site´s last blog ..7 Steps For Breaking Through Your Comfort Zone =-.
Haha, funny you should mention Tucker Max, Steve. I also read his book a couple of weeks ago. You could say I’m in bad-boy territory. 😉
I agree with the interrupting people even though with ADHD I had to practice and focus in order not to interrupt people.
Yesterday my hubs and neighbor were in a “near knock down-drag out” fight about politics. When I discovered them inches apart I went outside and interrupted Big Time!
I asked my husband to get his sneakers on and take a walk with me. That small move ended the entire think in less than two minutes. It was unlike either of these men to get so carried away…
I’m gonna check this one out. I read “No More Mr. Nice Guy” and enjoyed it. Please recommend any books that have had a positive effect on your life.